i feel quite content now with my amy winehouse music and ingrid michaelson playing (okay i cheat, i actually am listening to the very uncool nsync's selfish now, hey but it's a sibling favourite. my brother loves it too. hello brother you are cute, dajie loves you MWAHHHH) but i am also feeling a bit sad because i dunno.. somehow libran men always let me down. i'm always vvvv excited, actually to put it rightly over-excited and over-enthusiastic to meet other librans because i assume we will understand each other and be similar to each other. they often start out as friendships full of promise, and generally the men seem to like me and flatter me a lot, which librans are actually fond of doing. which makes it sound like librans are insincere airheads, but i do flatter people alot.. but that doesn't mean i don't mean it. when there is so much goodwill and enthusiasm in a friendship, it usually chug-chugs (i couldn't think of a better word; think of a train and its engine moving forward quite speedily) merrily at the beginning and then i inevitably find out something very wrong, and then i withdraw. but as my sister once told me - everyone has something very wrong with them, including myself. (me, not my sister hurhur) so it's not like these libran men i've met are especially bad or anything, but so far they all seem to be pretty smooth-talking men (i'm tempted to put assholes, but i don't think that's fair) out to prove that they are debonair by earning as many daisies as they can to boast to their friends or... for their own personal ego. not that it's wrong, i just personally hate pretentious-ness. and it's not like we don't all pretend to be cool-er than we really are, but i don't know, i just feel so disturbed. i guess i once again feel cheated; to be thought of as special when you really are one of many.
i was also talking to friend (phee-Uan in thai) about being upset because someone thought i was less innocent than i think i am, but she pointed out that what you show people is partly what you are made up of. in other words, it may be a facade, and not really you, but since it's there, it's probably one part of you anyway.
i think what she said really struck a chord with me; i mean i can say all i like about being innocent and inexperienced but if some part of me isn't (the booze and the fags), then i can't claim to be oh-so-innocent. which makes me sad. oh, adulthood.
by the way, about my libran men thing, my sample size isn't very huge; it's just four, but to have four libran men disappoint you in a month is a pretty tremendous thing, no?
i guess i should stick to scorpios. despite what the stars say, they are good to me. scorpios being my papa, my sister, suff, nympho woong and err someone.
err yea i think i should stop like being so superstitious and reading my horoscope.
i heard a senior speak thai today and she was -so- awesome. i want to be like her )):
oh and my Victoria's Secret blusher came today and it is awesomecute. LOVELOVE. it is the love of my life at the mo. i shall hug it to sleep.
i realized that jess reads my blog. hullo speedy.
i still want to get married at 21. everyone keeps asking me why. so here's why.
because i want to have kids early and i want to be a hip mama and because i want to marry someone who is about 10 years older than i am and i don't want his sperm to rot and die. they should all be olympic swimmers and make my egg healthy and strong.
that reminds me of my attempt to make scrambled eggs this morning. it tasted like omelette. harrrh why are scrambled eggs so nice.
hmm but okay now i feel satisfied. love amy winehouse and feel sleepy.
good night world.
psst if i looked like the rainie yang or something i think i would be the cutest person in the world. ya la so shameless. shameless is the new cute.
psst cute in thai is naarak!
honey you cannot afford me
the one who got away
i'd like to take a slow boat to china
the baker
trent!!
lil missdrinkalot
tres bitchy
fuggers
secret wank shed
blood ninja